


this can't be the last time I'll ever see you

by merthurmagic025



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: 5.03, 5x03, Arthur POV, Gen, the death song of uther pendragon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:08:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28280643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merthurmagic025/pseuds/merthurmagic025
Summary: Arthur's POV of his conversation with Uther in the void after he's conjured Uther's ghost. Saddd lol
Relationships: Arthur Pendragon & Uther Pendragon (Merlin)
Kudos: 5
Collections: merlinoutofcontext merlinmas holiday fest





	this can't be the last time I'll ever see you

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 11 (prompt: anything 5.03-related) of the 12 days of Merlinmas on the mooc server!

With a last glance back to Merlin, Arthur lifted the horn to his mouth and blew it. The sound resonated within the stone circle as a bright white light appeared in front of him, blinding. Arthur walked forward until all around him was nothing but a bright void. A figure appeared; it was Uther.

“Father,” Arthur greeted, apprehensive. He wasn’t sure if this was indeed his father, after all.

“Arthur,” greeted his father in turn. He looked… different, somehow. Harsher. Sharper. More intimidating, if such a thing were even possible. 

Arthur couldn’t think of what to say to him. He had so much to share, so much to ask about. Also, so much to argue about. He knew he’d made many decisions in his time as king that his father would vehemently disagree with. After all, his father had been against commoners becoming knights, but his knights came from all backgrounds and were the best he’d ever seen. He still valued his father’s opinion, of course, but he wasn’t sure anymore just how much he could trust it. He settled on something neutral: “I thought I’d never see you again.” Then, the emotions started flowing, more than he meant to let them. “There isn’t a day that passes when I don’t think of you.” 

“And I you,” Uther responded, looking sincere. 

Arthur swallowed his building emotions, and continued: “There are times when I feel so alone, I wish more than anything that you were by my side.” He knew of course that he wasn’t alone. He had Guinevere, he had Merlin, he had the support of his people, but at the end of it all, he missed his father. Misguided though he may have been, he was still his father and Arthur loved him. 

“If I were at your side, I fear you would not like all that I have to say,” Uther warned.

Arthur knew of course that Uther had some strong opinions in life that he disagreed with. But, Arthur felt that he’d done a good job as king so far, and he’d expected his father to see that. “What do you mean?”

“Many of the decisions you’ve made since you’ve become king go against all that I taught you.”

“I have done what I believed to be right,” Arthur argued.

“You have ignored our tradition, our ancient lores. You have allowed common men to become knights,” Uther spat, clearly angry about this

Arthur retaliated: “And they are some of the finest knights that Camelot’s ever known.” Uther’s eyes hardened, his face sharpening to a frown. “They would gladly give their lives for the kingdom.”

“They question your decisions,” Uther sneered. “They make you look weak.”

“Listening to others is a sign of strength, not weakness,” Arthur argued, feeling unsteady.

“How do you expect anyone to fear a king who does not know his own mind?” Uther shouted.

Arthur was solidly confused now. Surely this wasn’t his father. His father had been a hard man, yes, but he valued more than fear. He understood that leadership is based in respect, not only fear. At least, Arthur thought he had. “I don’t want my people to respect me because they fear me.”

“Then they will not respect you at all,” Uther snarled. Arthur looked at him in confusion and distress. Uther continued, “Your marriage should have served to form an alliance with another kingdom, yet you choose to marry a serving girl.”

“I married for love,” Arthur stressed. “I love Guinevere… more than…”  _ So much _ , he thought.  _ More than anything. More than life itself. _ “...I can express,” he settled on.

“There are some things that are more important than  _ love _ ,” Uther spat the word ‘love’ out like it was poison. “It is your duty to strengthen and protect the kingdom.” He was approaching Arthur now. “You have failed.”

Arthur felt his chest constrict, breathing becoming more difficult. His father’s praise had been all he’d sought for in most of his young life, and he still valued it highly. Perhaps more highly than he should. He took a moment to compose himself. “I’ve always strived to make you proud.”

“How can I be proud of a son who ignores  _ everything _ that I taught him, who is  _ destroying _ my legacy?” 

Arthur wanted to shout. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream that his father’s legacy meant nothing if the people were not happy. That the kingdom was  _ nothing _ without its people, that his father’s legacy was one of  _ fear _ and  _ hatred _ and he’d seen the look in Merlin’s eyes, in Guinevere’s eyes, when they talk about Uther. The terror, the intimidation, the resistance against a cruel power. “I’ve brought peace to the kingdom,” he pleaded.

“At what price?” Uther scowled. “The peace cannot last. If you are not strong, the kingdom will fall.” Arthur just blinked, tears pooling in his eyes. He wasn’t sure why he’d contacted his father at all, now. He should have expected this, expected disappointment and criticism. “You must go now,” Uther declared, turning to walk away.

“I need more time,” Arthur called out after him, at a loss. “There- there’s still so much I wish to say.”

“If you stay, you will be forever trapped in the world of the dead. You must go now.” Uther’s form was disappearing into the blinding white light. “Go,” he repeated. 

“ _ This _ ,” Arthur cried, “can’t be the last time I’ll ever see you.”

“Think about everything that I have said to you,” Uther called, his voice beginning to fade into the void around them. “It isn’t too late. Now,  _ go _ .”

Arthur stumbled backwards, looking at his father with disappointment and confusion. He felt the tears drying on his cheeks as he turned towards where he’d come from. 

“I will always love you, Arthur,” his father’s voice resonated. Just as the bright light began to envelop him, Arthur turned to take one last look at his father, then he faded into the blinding white.


End file.
